


I've tried goodbye a hundred times, not one of them true

by storiesthatmakeus



Series: Nobody Like You [1]
Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Heartbreak, Love, M/M, Reflection, Regret
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-29
Updated: 2017-11-29
Packaged: 2019-02-08 09:33:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12861738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/storiesthatmakeus/pseuds/storiesthatmakeus
Summary: Aaron failed to get to Robert before Liv did, so his ex-husband knows all about Alex, but does his acceptance of the situation bother Aaron more than he's letting on?Based on next week's spoilers.





	I've tried goodbye a hundred times, not one of them true

**Author's Note:**

> I've been feeling a little sad (not Robron related) but I channelled it into writing this sad fic which has weirdly made me feel better :O
> 
> I kinda hope next week that Robert doesn't react in his usual way to Alex and Aaron and that he just retreats and kinda accepts it (mainly because I want to see Ryan smash those scenes!) Hence why I wrote this fic this way, because I think it's one way it could go. 
> 
> It is a bit sad, but hopefully someone likes it nonetheless xxx

‘’What the hell were you thinking?’’

Aaron was pacing the kitchen, his anger simmering as he glared at his little sister, waiting for an answer.

‘’I was thinking that you’re moving on and it’s time Robert knew it.’’ Liv fired back.

‘’And it was your job to tell him was it?’’

‘’I was just trying to help you out.’’ Liv’s voice suddenly wobbled as she said it, but Aaron ignored it.

‘’You know, for someone who hates Robert so much, you’ve certainly picked up a few tricks from him.’’ Aaron snapped.

‘’What’s that supposed to mean?’’

‘’Well he was always going behind my back, claiming he was just looking out for me, maybe you’re not that different.’’

Aaron regretted his outburst as soon as he said it, his little sister shrinking back into herself; eyes glassy with unshed tears.

‘’Liv I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to snap. I know you were trying to help, but I just wanted to tell Robert myself.’’

‘’Why? He doesn’t deserve it. You don’t owe him anything.’’

‘’I wouldn’t have you here if it wasn’t for him.’’ Aaron countered, and Liv’s face softened ever so slightly. ‘’I’m just gonna head out for a bit, clear my head. I’ll be back soon.’’

 

 

Aaron was barely at the top of the Mill driveway when he saw Robert, hovering over the open boot of his ridiculous car. Images of the scrap yard flashed before him, and he knew instantly.

 

Robert was running again.

 

‘’So, you’re going again eh?’’ Aaron asked as he sidled up to him, his voice startling Robert, who spun around quickly.

‘’Yea, for definite this time. Probably for the best.’’

‘’Why?’’

‘’I can’t fight for my son if he’s not here can I? So I’m gonna go and take some time to think, clear my head ya know?’’

‘’When are you coming back?’’

Robert shrugged in response, and as he turned back to put his last bag in the boot, Aaron took his chance.

‘’Robert, about Alex…’’

‘’What about him?’’ Robert asked casually, head still in the boot and back to Aaron.

‘’Liv, she shouldn’t have told you. I wanted to do that myself. I hope she didn’t…’’

‘’Gloat? It’s fine Aaron.’’ Robert replied as he turned back. ‘’I already knew.’’

‘’What? How?’’

‘’I saw you yesterday, in the café.’’

‘’I didn’t see…’’

‘’Kinda had your hands full.’’ Robert tried for a small laugh, but it sounded hollow, and Aaron’s heart clenched as the realisation of Robert’s words sunk in.

 

He’d seen them kissing.

 

‘’Sorry.’’ Aaron mumbled, unsure of what else he could say.

‘’Why?’’ Robert asked. ‘’It was gonna happen eventually, you moving on, and he seems like a decent bloke.’’ He finished kindly.

‘’You’ll find someone like that too Rob.’’

‘’No, I won’t.’’ Robert lamented. ‘’I had my two minutes of happiness, probably don’t deserve any more than that.’’

‘’Robert, don’t say that.’’

‘’It’s true.’’ Robert replied acceptingly. ‘’But it’s okay, because I got to have those two minutes with you.’’

The silence fell heavy between them after Robert’s admission, and Aaron began to shuffle awkwardly as he desperately searched for something to say in response. Noticing his discomfort, Robert quickly turned around and closed his car boot.

‘’I should…’’

‘’Yea, yea of course.’’ Robert was fiddling with his keys, and that’s when Aaron noticed it, or rather a lack of _it_. The familiar clink as metal key met ring was missing, and Aaron risked a glance down, his stomach dropping as he saw Robert’s ring finger looking achingly bare, the tan lines still visible, a clear indication that the ring had only recently been removed. Was it because of Alex? Before he had a chance to take it in, Robert started talking again.

‘’You know, I never got to thank you Aaron.’’

‘’For what?’’ He stuttered, barely able to keep his eyes from Robert’s left hand.

‘’Even after everything I did, you still tried to help me. I never told you, but you’re still my best friend.’’

Robert said it with such genuine emotion, that Aaron could feel a knot form in his stomach. The usual Robert Sugden charm had all but evaporated, and he wasn’t trying to manipulate Aaron, or make him feel guilty, just stating a fact, and it made Aaron’s chest seize.

He watched Robert take a tentative step towards him, and he knew what was coming, but it still took him by surprise to hear Robert ask for permission.

‘’Can I?’’

Aaron could only nod in response, and he knew instantly that no amount of time could have prepared him for the feeling of his ex-husband’s arms around him as he hugged him tightly, the warmth and scent that was so undeniably _Robert_ threatening to overwhelm him. He wrapped his arms hesitantly around Robert, and for the briefest of moments, Robert was his husband again, the same smug, smart and secretly incredibly kind man he made lifelong promises to in a freezing garage only a few months previously.

Before he could let his memories get the best of him, the contact was broken, and Robert was holding him at arms length, trying to fight his watery eyes as he smiled at Aaron.

‘’Make sure Alex looks after you, or he’ll have me to deal with.’’ Robert warned, but there was no heat to his words, only a glimmer of sadness and Aaron could only manage a small smile in response.

‘’Take care Aaron.’’

‘’Bye Robert.’’

 

Aaron watched as Robert got into his car. He watched as the engine started up and his ex-husband slowly made his way out of the village. He didn’t stop watching until he could no longer see the car at all, and even then it took several minutes before he could move from his spot outside Keepers.

As he made his way up the stairs back at the Mill, he was relieved to hear Liv’s music blasting from her room. He wanted to apologise to her properly, but he wasn’t ready for the barrage of questions as to his whereabouts, so he crept quietly past her room and into his own.

His clothes suddenly felt too tight; Robert’s embrace melting them to his skin and making him feel clammy. Peeling them slowly off, he stepped into the excessively large shower that Robert had chosen for the ensuite, another reminder of his ex-husband to envelope him.

He scrubbed himself clean, trying to rid himself of the image of Robert’s bare ring finger. He had never given much thought to what it would be like seeing him without his ring, but now faced with the reality of it, he realised how much it hurt. Even as Robert had played games with Lawrence’s heart, he never once took his ring off, and looking back, the White patriarch should have taken that as his first clue that Robert’s heart still belonged to his former husband. Aaron had desperately wanted to ask when he had removed it, but it wasn’t his place, not when he had Alex, and as Aaron’s skin bristled with the knowledge that Robert had finally let him go, hot tears that had threatened to come all afternoon now began to fall down his cheeks.

As the hot water cascaded over his skin, washing away the remnants of his ex’s embrace, Aaron replayed all the words that had lodged in his throat as he watched Robert get in his car.

 

_Please stay._

_The village isn’t the same without you._

_I love you._

It was too late for those words now, and truth be told, he had seen all the fight had vanished from Robert's eyes, so he didn't know what use they would have been. His husband was gone, and tomorrow, Aaron would start again, leave Robert Sugden in the past and move on with Alex. The doctor was smart, funny and kind, and was probably exactly what Aaron needed. But that was tomorrow. Tonight, as he stood under the waterfall of hot water, he gave himself five more minutes to cry over his broken marriage and the loss of Robert from his life. Tonight, that was what he needed.


End file.
